Tales of the Plush Cthulhu Frequently Asked Questions

Where did you get your plush Cthulhu?
I bought my plush Cthulhu in a comic book store at the Pike Place fish market in Seattle in June 2002. Since then I've learned the manufacturer is a company called ToyVault. They sell them online, and they also have a directory of stores that sell their merchandise. You can find it at:

http://www.toyvault.com/cthulhu/plush_cthulhu.html

There's also another plush Cthulhu, available from The Outsider, a small mail-order company. They're more expensive, but they're handmade and you do get to choose the color.
http://www.tccorp.com/Merchant2/merchant.mv

I've also recently been informed that another company out there, Stuffe and Nonsense, sells a pretty impressive looking Cthulhu doll. Not so plush, but he's got joints and wired tentacles and the like. Also very expensive, but still.
http://www.stuffemal.com/whatnot/Cthulhu.html

What about Professor Blue Smush DinoBaby? Where can I get hold of one of those?
Mm. The Professor came from the gift shop of the American Museum of Natural History (http://www.amnh.org) in NYC about five years ago. Unfortunately, their gift shop isn't online. It was manufactured by the Manhattan Toy Company (http://www.manhattantoy.com), but I can't find it in their online catalog. Manhattan Toy does sell a lot of other strange looking stuffed animals, however.

Is there going to be a sequel?
Yes, as soon as I get around to making it.

What the heck is Cthulhu anyway?
Cthulhu is the creation of the 1930's horror writer, H. P. Lovecraft. He's a giant squid-headed, bat-winged alien god who's waiting for "the stars to align" so he can awaken from his underwater lair to destroy the world. Sort of a cross between Godzilla and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

Care to explain that further?
Not really. There's a more detailed explanation at the Cthulhu Mythos FAQ.

If he's some hideous alien beastie, shouldn't he be bigger?
Yes, but remember: I bought him on vacation, so he had to be able to fit in my suitcase. Don't worry, there are bigger versions available.

Why in Heaven's name would someone make a stuffed version of an evil unholy creature?
Something's got to keep all those unruly Beanie Babies in line.

What's the connection between Cthulhu and Big Tobacco?
Well, Cthulhu is running for President, so I'm sure they're lobbying for their own advantage. For more on Cthulhu's campaign, check his other political positions.

What happened to the other stuffed animals that didn't appear in the final shots?
Don't worry. They all have excellent health insurance.

Where did Professor Blue Smush DinoBaby study?
Professor Blue Smush DinoBaby holds a D.Phil. in Comparative Anthropology from Oxford University, and his dissertation, "Instantiation of Long-Lived Soft Sided Extraterrestial Invertebrates: A Comparative Study," was a top seller on Amazon.com. He's currently an Associate Professor at Plush Polytechnic.

What's the deal with Sparkle Christmas Tree Sweater Bear? You know what I mean.
The deal with Sparkle Christmas Tree Sweater Bear is that he's five years old, he's a stuffed teddy bear, and he wears a sweater. Thanks for asking.

Is that question a steal from the Simpsons?
I don't know what you mean, Ambassador Mwabwetumba.

What kind of drugs are you taking?
The usual suspects: oxygen, caffeine, sugar, and words.

Why isn't this funnier?
The limits of my talent. Might I recommend Hello Cthulhu, Pokethulu, or even "Yes, Virginia, there is a Cthulhu". And don't forget "Cute Abominations," which seems to sum up most of plush Cthulhu's day to day problems pretty well.

Are these real questions?
Real enough.

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