Remember way back when, when I mentioned Ian had performed unnecessary surgery on my printer? Well, this particular printer doubles as a scanner, and a fax I think, and if I ask it very nicely, it might even proofread for me. I wanted to scan something, so I flipped up the top, put the paper on top, and pressed the "Scan" button.
A light on it blinked for a moment.
Next thing you know, there's a loud WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! coming from it.
I flipped down the service lid to see that the print cartridge cradle, which also has the scanning hardware on top of it, is slamming itself back and forth inside the machine, not unlike someone who's trapped in a box and is attempting to knock it over to free itself. So now I definitely have to go buy a new machine, as I have no use for claustrophobic hardware.