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If you're looking to get your heartrate up for a bit but don't want to actually, y'know, exercise, then I'd say getting a thick envelope from the IRS is guaranteed to do the trick. And your heartrate will go up even higher when you open the envelope and learn it's actually a bill for a ginormous amount of money. No, we're not being audited; they just think we made an error on our 2004 tax return.

We did not.

After reviewing last year's return and getting some advice, it's almost certainly an error on their part. Called them this morning to request an appointment to get this oddness all taken care of. Everything will be fine. Hear that, heart? Everything will be just fine.