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Dear Child Protective Services: I'm Probably Kidding

Behold, our first major baby related purchase: the crib! After much discussion, we decided to forgo the tempting cardboard box approach. But, to make it a challenge for our youngster, we've decided that he'll have to assemble it himself. Now, you may think that sounds cruel, so I'll tell you what. The cats can help him. Andy's pretty handy with a screwdriver, for all that he has no thumbs, and the others are good little lifters. Once they've had their naps, of course. It'll go great. Trust me.

(Oh, stop. I was joking. Turns out the directions specifically say, Do Not Allow A Baby To Assemble. Can you believe it? Darn that California with their shameless pro-baby bias, and the resulting effects on federal regulations!)