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January 29, 2006


19 day rejection from Interzone. Bah.

Currently Reading: A Feast For Crows, by George R. R. Martin.

January 28, 2006

In A Word



January 27, 2006


There is the possibility I may get my bow tomorrow. Possibly not. One of the coaches did the ordering, so he's the one who'll get it. And if he does, I'll get it Saturday morning at practice. Makes every Friday feel like Christmas Eve.

(Just doing what I can to keep suspense up).

* * *

I've been reading some of the Oz sequels, as research. Ozma of Oz. Dorothy and the Wizard in Oz. The Road to Oz. And there's still quite a few more after that (and then there's the sequels, some considered official, some not, and some rather unusual; not touching those). Fortunately you can get 'em through Project Gutenberg, if you don't mind reading online. Which I don't.

At the moment I'm 2,000 words in. We shall see.

* * *

Lisa and I were talking last night, and she suggested we name the boy Mortimer Alvarez. I like it in principle. Mortimer is a distant family name, I think, and well, who doesn't like Alvarez? But I think Horatio Mortimer would work better. That way his initials would be HMH, nice and symmetrical. What's not to like?

Whoops. Someone at my office door. Just a sec.

Oh, look. It's my son, traveled back in time from the year 2028. And judging from the baseball bat in his hand, he's here to kick my ass.

January 24, 2006


Rob tagged me for the five weird habits meme. I have no idea why, as I am completely free of weird habits. Nevertheless, I'll try and come up with some. Legal disclosure, with some editing:

The Rules: The first player of this game starts with the topic "five weird habits" and people who get tagged need to write an entry about their five weird habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next five people to be tagged and link to their web journals. Don't forget to leave a comment in their blog or journal that says "You have been tagged" (assuming they take comments) and tell them to read yours.

Play, don't play. It's all good.

  1. My father and I have a complicated handshake that we only use with each other. I don't remember when it started, only that it evolved into being sometime when I was eleven or twelve, and makes us look like we're members of a secret society. Perhaps the Icy Black Handshake of Death. To the best of my knowledge, the only other person who knows how this handshake goes is Lisa, who saw it once and (naturally) asked about it.
  2. My sleeping arrangements have gotten pretty complicated in recent years. I have to have the fan on (for the sound), a cat propped against one of my legs (usually Andy), and the shape of Lisa in bed next to me. If Lisa is out of town, I rearrange her pillows longways so there's a vague human profile for me to sense. If Andy hasn't come to bed, I have to go get him. And if the power is out or the fan is broken, I'm in trouble. The only way to get around all three requirements is to be sleeping in a completely strange place to begin with, such as a hotel room.
  3. Whenever I'm visiting someplace for a few days, one of the first things I do is check the phone book to see if there are any used bookstores in town. If I have some free time during the visit, I will want to go to one or more of these bookstores.
  4. Related to the travel out of town thing, I'm also quite likely to buy a couple maps of the area, even if I don't have a car. If someone goes on vacation someplace and asks if they can buy me a souvenir, I always want a map. Postcards are also good, but maps are key.
  5. I talk to the TV set. I yell at commercials that annoy me, swear at certain politicians & celebrities, and God forbid I watch something like the Presidential debates. This bugs Lisa no end, but I do it when she's not even in the house. I'm not talking to her, I'm talking to the TV. The thing that kills me about this habit is that my grandfather did it, and it always annoyed me. Now I do it. Must be genetic.

See? These habits are perfectly normal. Normal, I say!

What? Quit looking at me!

January 22, 2006

Dear Child Protective Services: I'm Probably Kidding

Behold, our first major baby related purchase: the crib! After much discussion, we decided to forgo the tempting cardboard box approach. But, to make it a challenge for our youngster, we've decided that he'll have to assemble it himself. Now, you may think that sounds cruel, so I'll tell you what. The cats can help him. Andy's pretty handy with a screwdriver, for all that he has no thumbs, and the others are good little lifters. Once they've had their naps, of course. It'll go great. Trust me.

(Oh, stop. I was joking. Turns out the directions specifically say, Do Not Allow A Baby To Assemble. Can you believe it? Darn that California with their shameless pro-baby bias, and the resulting effects on federal regulations!)

January 21, 2006

This Just In

I have ordered my bow, and accompanying accoutrements.

I am very excited.

Further details when it arrives. Continue your daily activities. No need to return to your home.

January 20, 2006

Live, Learn

Went grocery shopping yesterday and, among other things, bought a six pack of those little sawed-off Half-A-Cokes (you've seen them; I think they were originally designed to be given away at Halloween). Grabbed one this morning, intending to drink it on the way to work. Got in the car, dropped the can into the drink holder, and it promptly sank. All the way to the bottom. I had to grip the rim with my fingernails to get it back out.

Writing news, not much. Since the postage hike has gone into effect, everything's SASEd with the new rate and sent back out there. Need to finish something to join the others. At the moment the story on the brain has the title of "Warlord of Oz."

Little else to report. The bedroom painting turned out fine, and four days later, we still like the color. So furniture shopping this weekend. What fun. The last time we went, we went into Babys-R-Us. Felt like I was going to pass out after about fifteen minutes. Perhaps a smaller store this time, something less panic-inducing.

January 16, 2006

Doesn't Holiday Mean Day Off?

Ah, holiday. And how am I spending my day off from work? Why, working for myself, i.e., painting the Future Expansion Room, aka The Nursery. We looked at lots and lots and lots of paint chips...and in the end went with a shade of blue. Sigh. Lisa has pointed out that we've got three other rooms in the place painted some variation of blue. We like blue. We like this color (Bounty, an Eddie Bauer color from Lowe's). So it's traditional, so what?

Honestly, I don't know, but it still bothers me a little. I blame Suburbia And All Its Works, with Society as an Accessory After The Fact.

At any rate, when the offspring reaches the teenaged years, he'll probably want to repaint in Safety Orange or Basic Black. So we'll just enjoy it while we can.

January 13, 2006


Had a day off today (yay!) because I have to work Saturday (boo!). Normally this plays merry hell with my personal chronology, as I'm not used to day off, day at work, day off, then back to a full work week. Not normal for me. But Monday's MLK Day, so the library will be closed then, and I'll get my sense of weekend. So it's all good. So I celebrated by going to get a haircut, and then met Lisa for lunch.

She doesn't get MLK day off, which strikes her as most unfair. But she doesn't have to work any Saturdays. This reasoning didn't win me any points, however.

After lunch I decided to swing by a particular used bookstore near home. I'm rather fond of the place, although I haven't been there in quite a while. Good selection, owner's nice, and while they don't have a cafe, they also don't care if you bring in a drink. While browsing I remembered I also have some store credit there, so I dug out the slip. Then I learned two things:

1) The slip says at the bottom, "Good for One Year from Date of Last Visit!"
2) My last visit was January 19th, 2005.

Phew. Just skated in. Among my purchases: Cats Have No Lord, by Will Shetterly. A clear case of truth in titling if there ever was one.

Currently Reading: A Storm of Swords, by George R. R. Martin, Book 3 of his big saga. Yes, I'm behind. Quiet.

January 09, 2006

It's A...

Lisa called me this afternoon as I was coming back from lunch (meat loaf sandwich, mmm), all excited. The doctor had called to report the results of the amnio.

Totally normal. No extra chromosomes, no indicators of Very Bad Things, or anything else sketchy or wrong. Hooray! Our baby is healthy! This is a considerable weight off our minds, which is good.

Now we can start worrying about other things, like the fact that we are, in fact, going to be totally responsible for the upbringing of another human being.

For those of you curious about the gender, click below!

A boy! A son! A lad, chap, fellow, cub, pup, little shaver, mister, jongen, garçon, Junge, ragazzo, menino, muchacho, αγόρι, 男孩, мальчик, 男の子, 소년, bubo, poq, loj!

What? Can't you tell from the picture? Don't worry, neither could I. A hint: see that whitish line near his crotch? That's his leg.


Due to public outcry, the animation of Dancing Greg has been removed from the page. But never fear, it's still there: just click on the FCC warning label to view him in action.

January 07, 2006

Lesson Number One, Don't Think

At the urging of the coaches, I started scoring my shooting. Here's my card. The astute of you will note that I did very well on ends 2 through 7, but went in the toliet starting with 8. Why, you may ask?

Well, between 7 and 8 one of the coaches offered us some advice on things to watch out for, such as how your hand is situated on the grip and if your thumb is pointed towards the target (it should be). I started thinking about these things. And then I couldn't stop thinking about these things. Stupid brain.

At any rate, I'm pretty pleased with my score. A quick glance at the scoring achievement chart reveals I'm coming along nicely, although by NAA standards I really should be shooting at the smaller 40 cm target.

Currently Reading: Sourcery, by Terry Pratchett.

All In The Timing

Ah, forgot to mention this before. Got the first rejections of the year: a 52 day no from LCRW and a 52 day no from Talebones. This simultaneous return is even more impressive considering that they came from different sides of the country. I can just imagine the phone calls that went into their scheduling it. Ah, the dedication of some editors in their attempts to break my writerly will. Never happen! Never, I say!

January 06, 2006

Why I Laughed Until I Passed Out

Thank you, Greg.

I've been looking for a new LJ icon, and I think I may have found it.

January 04, 2006

Sacre Bleu!

As I have complained before, I am told from time to time I resemble Ed Norton (not so bad) and the always annoying Tom Green. I never got the Green reference, but I came across the MyHeritage website, which has free facial recognition software. It's intended to see what people of yesteryear you might resemble, but that's not working at the moment. So instead, they're checking resemblance to celebrities.

Plugging in the picture off my writing stats page (and then manually setting the comparison, because the automatic version clips off my chin), I find that I do match Ed Norton at 53%. But better matches, according to it, are Haile Selassie, former Emperor of Ethiopia, at 57%, Hugo von Hofmannsthal, Austrian novelist, at 58%, and at the top of the charts, Francois Mitterand at 67%!

Happily, Tom Green doesn't even show up. This pleases me no end.

January 03, 2006

My New Favorite Paraphrase

"Jordan says having a baby is like getting a dog that eventually starts to talk." --Carla, Scrubs

And then you have to send it to college!

January 02, 2006

So This Is The New Year

I don't feel any different.

For those of you wondering, my only resolution this year is, no matter what happens (especially from June on), don't panic.

We've begun the arduous process of disassembling the holidays. Most of it is currently piled on the dining room table, in some sort of festive quarantine before it goes back into the giant plastic bins it lives in the other eleven months out of the year. Had a lovely time off, but tomorrow we go back to work. Hi ho, hi ho, etc.

Current Reading: So You're Going To Be A Dad, by Peter Downey.