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Ho, Ho, Homigahd

For those you seeking a very special blend of Christmas cheer, might I recommend you look into the novelization of Santa Claus Conquers The Martians, by Lou Harry. I'm not ashamed to say I scooped this sucker up at my local Mediaplay, which is busy selling off its innards, just in time for holiday vultures like me. A thrilling excerpt:

"Oh," said Billy, beginning to feel confident as he realized he knew something the Martians didn't. "Those are his helpers. There's only one real Santa Claus and he's in his workshop up at the North Pole."

Then he realized that maybe he shouldn't give any information. What did they say in the spy movies are the only things you are supposed to say when you're captured by the enemy? He tried to remember. Name, rank, and social security number? Something like that. But surely if the Martians were capable of building a ship for interplanetary travel, they were capable of doing the minimal pre-mission research of finding out where Santa lived.

Or maybe not.

As an extra special bonus, it includes the complete movie on DVD! And a good thing too, since it's unlikely to appear on TV any time soon. Truly a lost holiday special.