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Double Rejections; Amusing Reading

Ah, two rejections today - a 101 day pass from Asimov's, and a 24 day detailed pass from Strange Horizons.

One of the things I hadn't expected to receive for our new house was an owner's manual (I mean, hey, it isn't like it's a stereo or a microwave). There're several sections covering various things (Insulation; Flooring; Heating, Air Conditioning and Ventilation) with details on proper maintenance and the like. As I'm reading this book, I'm amused at some of the opening sections. It's obvious the technical writer did his or her best to keep it interesting. To whit:

On Caulking:

In days gone by, caulking was used to fill the seams in wooden boats.

On Windows:

Ancient Romans were the first to use glass in windows to absorb solar heat. Many centuries later, windows of all sizes and shapes continue to provide heat, light and ventilation.

On Fireplaces:

While the crackle and pop of a burning fire creates an atmosphere of warmth and coziness, there are some
things you should know about your fireplace.