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Neverworlds Coughs Up the Cash

Ah, sweet sweet money! Today the mail brings my payment from Neverworlds, a little late but always appreciated. Even better, I didn't have to use my query letter. For those of you unfamiliar with them (I'm sure there must be a couple of you), query letters are useful for getting information from magazine lackeys. They being busy with their own lives, they can't always find the time to get back to us writers with such mundane details as whether or not the story was accepted, where the check is, and if the court order specified 100 feet or 100 yards minimum distance at all times. Here's the one I favor most often:

Dear Capitalist Pig-Dog:
Send the bucks or else.
Love, Gonzo
You'd be suprised at what kind of reaction you get with this.