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The Waiting Is The Hardest Part

I've got stuff out to sixteen different magazine editors, magazines both great and small, print and electronic, professional and small press. Sixteen. I'm overdue to hear back from nine of them, some by less than a week, others by as much as three months. Three months. What is the hold up? Did they even receive it? Are they buried under the slushpile? Are they considering buying it, but stalling just in case something similar (only better) comes in? Are they disorganized, recently ill, abducted by aliens, dead? What in heaven's name is taking them so long to decide? Who lives, who dies. Who gets a check and a contract, who gets a coffee stain and a form slip. The longer I wait, the more I just want to know something so I can get on with things. Of course, since I'm griping about it here, tomorrow I'll hear from all of them, just you wait and see.